The Mystery of Waiting

Chocolate fudge on ice-cream. Red mini-skirt with those boots. Picnics bombarded by flies. Long distance relationships and waiting. Some things I can’t imagine without the other, some things just end up together, even if I wish they didn’t.

I wait for Chris to wake up with just enough time to say good morning before he jumps in the shower. Usually he’s out of the shower and rushing to get dressed before his lift arrives. Then I wait until he’s at work, taken care of his morning tasks and meetings and he has time to wish me good night.

He then finishes his day, heads home and it’s his turn… waiting for me to wake up. We wait for the day we’ll meet, then we’ll wait for the next visit and the next after that. We wait for the day we lose the LD in LDR. We even wait for video calls. I did manage to send him 10 or so seconds of filmed experiment with my new webcam before my poor old laptop decided to have a freak session yesterday. Sigh.

At times it seems all this waiting highlights all the other waiting in my day. I wait on the driveway for peak minute to be past. Let the day endI wait to leave the estate as a car drives past from the dead-end of the street. Seriously, there’s all of eight houses up there. I wait at the roundabout for a car to drive a U-turn around it. I wait… well, you get the idea.

At these times I’d like nothing more than to lay down in a miserable heap and wait for the day to be over, kind of like Mystery in the photo, except he’s waiting for his next meal while I’m waiting to be with Chris. Then Chris wakes, wishes me good morning and suddenly, the only moment that matters is this moment.

Mmmmm. This moment.

This has been the mystery of waiting. As soon as he is there the waiting ends. It’s as if it never was. This moment. Enjoying this moment. Making the effort for this moment. Not wasting this moment with memories of waiting. This is something I never learnt in previous relationships. Unsurprisingly in the end there was always miscommunication, or no communication at all.

Together with trust, communication and consideration, I think this moment is something that Chris and I will continue to have when we are finally together. I think it’s a little like that first blush of romance most relationships have. That period of time when love is blind and every moment with your new beau is a special moment. Eighteen months of a long distance relationship and I find myself in those moments. I sometimes wonder if we can ever completely leave this stage completely even when we are together. If we’re in this moment together wouldn’t that mean we will always partly be there?

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