Red Tide of Anger

Francesco Marino

I lost my temper yesterday.

I’ve been angry and lost my temper before, so there’s nothing unique about that. Yesterday, I felt the anger rising and didn’t bury it, didn’t push it away. I let it come. I let it out. I even swore. A lot. What did Chris do? Seeing as he was on the receiving end of my temper…

He clapped.         

“You’re angry”.

“Finally”.

It didn’t feel good getting angry. To feel it swell up like a red tide, unstoppable and breaking over everything inside me, shattering into a million tiny pieces. And afterwards? The tears fell.

I know Chris is right, that “anger is part of a healthy emotional spectrum”. Knowing doesn’t make it easy. I have a lifetime behind me of hiding my anger, hiding every strong emotion. I’ll take yesterday as another step forward… I guess. Although, I will need to learn a better way to deal with anger.

Chris asked the other day if I thought the fog was brought on by unexpressed anger. “I’m not angry with anyone“. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel the word hang in the air… “Exactly”. It’s not anger alone, it’s every strong emotion, good and bad.

Image: Francesco Marino / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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