Appreciate the most? The most? Come on! Although I’m learning to do short… decisions I still have trouble with. So, I pondered and plucked and dug at this one and although lots of can touch ’em things and people ran through my mind, I kept coming back to the things that are, well, they’re intangible. I’ve undergone so many changes, some of them without really understanding what they are or the effect they were having on my life. Whittling down the list almost sent me visiting the liquor cabinet. I’m only half-joking when I say that.
But… drumroll please! I made a decision! The one thing I’ve come to appreciate the most is…
I have a voice and it can be heard.
Shhh, it’s one thing. Don’t make me try to split them. What’s it mean? It means I can talk, spouting an endless stream of words, C O M M U N I C A T E even. About the past, about what’s inside, outside and all around me. It even means I can say no, yes and booyah. All of it without guilt, without self-recrimination, without a lifetime of programmed shame trying to carry me down into silence. Yeah, I know, it’s been far from perfect, but the voice does exist and it is getting stronger.
I’m not too sure how I do or would express gratitude for this. Does this blog by its simple existence show my gratitude to the voice? By the use of the voice to better my life and in turn those lives that touch mine? Or is gratitude given by giving it life, giving it a name? Not really sure. Any ideas?