#reverb10 – 5 minutes

December 15 – 5 Minutes Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

(Author: Patti Digh)

Oh my. Internal debate… could I cheat and leave certain memories behind? Did not both the good and bad lead me to this moment of deciding what to remember? If I forget those memories, would I want to follow this path again to again reach this point? Debate ends. I am where I am because of the path I followed. Certain things are better not forgotten.

Deep breath and begin…

Feeling loved and knowing nothing else in the world can compare to these moments of connection.

Stepping out and making friends on my own. The silliness of our meetings as multiple different cultures don’t clash as expected, but instead work together, strengths and weaknesses combining to create an unstoppable team.

Finding that final moment to say no to my parents and feeling it within every fibre of my being. Feeling free of them.

The pain of not saying no when it mattered. Beginning this blog and the confusion of first meeting my voice. The pain of not listening.

A moment of understanding and thinking my world has ended.

A moment of self-love and knowing I can do more than survive. Taking the next step, followed by more.

Slowly finding the joy within my voice and learning to listen to it.

A moment when the past recedes and lets me be here, now, letting me choose those I want to be with.

This moment, knowing the child within isn’t sitting in the dark alone crying.

5 minutes over. Slight cheat and collate the list into a better order. It is the feelings I want to remember, rather than individual events. Especially since they might be open to interpretation without the feelings attached to them. This could very well be because of a background of losing feelings, locking them away. In many ways this year has become about feelings and learning to listen to what they have to say.

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