December 16 – Friendship How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)
Admission. This prompt frightened me when I first read it. I was going to call an extra early night and leave this for tomorrow. I read it and… “Oh. Umm. Too tired” *shakes head* The truth is I wasn’t sure how I wanted to handle this one. I sat outside for a while and thought about it.
A changed perspective on the world.
So much energy was spent on both withdrawing from people around me and rebelling against withdrawing, that deciding on a friend is difficult. Quite a few people did in fact play a part in changing the way I see the world this year. Chris might seem the obvious first choice, but the situation almost broke me in the end and I’d rather look at this post in a more positive light. On the surface, it would appear that he played the largest part in changing my perspective, but then I realised that there was someone else who played a much bigger role to this very moment, which in turn lets me appreciate the parts that others played… so sleep can wait a little longer.
Not many friends will stand by you if you start to go all crazy psycho b**** as I did just a short while ago. Admit it, that kind of anger, that level of pain can make the best of us uncomfortable. Long periods of raw emotion can exhaust us. We want to be there for our friends, because they are our friends, but it isn’t easy. I found out this year that I have such a friend.
She listened to my pain and anger and didn’t try to distract me. She tried not to judge my actions, or my feelings, letting them play out, only making sure I stayed safe. She didn’t let me give up when I thought my world had crumbled and I thought that there was no reason to continue my journey within. She encouraged me through my darkest hours, watched as I kept taking one step after another. Smiled with me as I began to smile again.
Even before my breakup with Chris she had been there with quiet words of encouragement. Simple words really. Letting me know that I can. I didn’t always listen and even then she tried not to judge me. She didn’t walk away when I tried to push her away.
I didn’t always appreciate her quiet strength, or her determination… or her love. As I slowly began to appreciate these things about her, as I began to accept her unconditional love, my perspective about the world changed as well. Weird I might be at times, but I’m no longer the crazy psycho b**** that I was just weeks ago, thanks to her.
Yes, some of you might have realised as you read this that I am talking about becoming my own friend.
I whisper softly to myself… thank you for being my friend.