#reverb10 – Future Self

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?) (Author: Jenny Blake)

Ohhh, okay! I actually decided to write to my future self instead. A lot of what I would have written ‘from the future’ has been covered in past prompts already.

Letter to future self – 5 years from now

2015! I won’t even doubt that you’re reading this letter. DA’s sig said something like… Damaged people are dangerous as they know they’ll survive. I might be damaged right now, so a survivor, but I’m working on being so much more.

I know what the memory is like, you’ll remember all the big stuff and wonder about the little things and then try to work out if you’re remembering the right year. The little things don’t seem to make it into the blog. Hint, hint, I hope you’re still blogging! You’ll be sitting there saying… 2010??!! Umm, what happened that Christmas? So I thought I’d give you a little reminder. It’s 3 days before Christmas and I’m not falling into the usual guilt trips from the parents. Chris and I broke up a few weeks ago. We’re still not playing the game even though a number of people have tried to tempt us. We opened a FB account :O We start therapy tomorrow. We’re taking part in #reverb10! We haven’t decided what exactly we want to do with our life. We’re still grieving and the future is looking… bright. Yeah, like I’m going to waste paper with long-winded descriptions to someone who already knows.

I went to Currumbin Beach today. I love that place! The sun was shining, there was a slight cooling breeze and not too many people. It was one of those perfect afternoons. The boys went to Sea World, while V and J stayed home, tired and sunburnt from yesterday.

We’ve just gone back to CC. I love those guys and gals! I’m still debating about the new FB account whether I want any of the other relatives to know yet. I’ve been feeling for S the last few days since we became friends on there. I realised how much I’ve neglected her over the last three years. I know, I know, I couldn’t help it, but I’d like to change that now. A part of her must wonder if I hated her. Sigh.

First therapy session tomorrow… 16 hours away. You remember the nerves before. I hope it went well and that we continued to make good choices where healing was concerned.

Yes, this Christmas we’re in pain. The emotions have been running the full range. I sometimes wish they weren’t, but I’ll keep feeling and growing, so you’ll still be able to feel… and hopefully be happy by 2015.

There are so many options open to us right now, it would be too easy for me to make a wrong choice. This terrifies me, but then you know that already. The only things limiting us are the two cats and J’s school. I so hope that I’m not about to make a ton of mistakes. Although I know you wouldn’t tell me if I was… bitch! 😀

Without knowing of any way to convince you to send me back a hint or two, I’ll get down to something that’s on my mind. There are three things I wanted to remind you of. They’re kind of things I picture as being part of a happy future…

  1. If there’s a man in your life he better be good in bed! You better believe I’m serious! I say if, as there could be any number of good reasons that we might not want to be in a relationship yet.
  2. I hope you’ve quit smoking. You know why I’ve included that. After 20 years that particular night is still fresh in my mind. I can’t see that 5 more years will dim it any.
  3. I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing, but I hope you’ve been able to or are still working on combining multiple passions into whatever you’re doing, rather than choosing just one, or doing whatever. That was a pretty big ‘lightbulb’ moment the other day… shouldn’t ignore those!

If you’ve settled for less or they’re not happening, then take the time now to look at why… and give yourself a good slap! These three are important. You’d have to remember why!

Hmm, I can’t think of anything else. Oh, except that I love you 🙂

Letter to past self – 10 years ago

I love you!

Don’t roll your eyes, because you will believe it one day.

Wow, 2000! It was a big year between Sonja’s funeral and the Sydney Olympics… and in just a few days you’re heading to the lake for almost a month! I think it’s safe to tell you that you will enjoy the whole trip (and catch some trout), even though I know you’re worried about being stuck down there without transport for so long. Dad will let you take the van to Canberra and you’ll have a great time New Year’s Eve with D’s family.

I’ve thought about this all day and decided that I won’t tell you anything else about the next 10 years. Yeah, call me a bitch 😛 It’s tempting, but I don’t want to change anything that happens. There are people I think we have to meet, experiences that we need to have. There are some people we help in the next few years and there isn’t anything that I regret enough to change helping them.

Just know that in 10 years time you’ll be sitting here at Currumbin Beach & you’ll write a letter to another past us and you’ll know you mean those three words you read 10 years before.

xxxooo

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “#reverb10 – Future Self

    • I didn’t mean to make you blubber 😀 Or myself for that matter! Thank you for the wishes. I’m nervous… major understatement. I just need to keep the “just do it” attitude and should be fine 😛

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s