It was the snails!

Really, it was! On Sunday my son and I were talking about beer and the conversation turned to snails… it always does. I’m listening for the stampeding feet of readers at this sign of  craziness. Beer talk always turns to snails?

Wait! There’s a reason!

Friend D, whenever he would visit me from Canberra would buy himself beer. Now being a good guest he would always leave some behind. What a great house guest!

But I don’t drink beer! So these beers would sit in the fridge until his next visit. Not so great. Beer is nicer the fresher it is… or so I’ve been told.

Well, one year we started looking for ways to use this beer bounty that D’s visits always gave us.

Beer batter, cleaning the BBQ, other beer drinking guests and the favourite use in the eyes of my son and I… decimating the snail colony in the courtyard. They’d slime their way into the bucket and drown happy. Or so we liked to think.

D didn’t think snail genocide a suitable use for his guest payment. Of course, what beer drinker would?

So talk of beer always turns to snails… and D.

I saw D yesterday! In Canberra! It’s the first time I’ve seen him in a few years. I haven’t spoken to him in over a year. Yet another friend that I’d isolated myself from.

Canberra? Yesterday? You ask. Absofuckinglutely! as… Geez, I wish I could remember who used to say that. My father’s barrister rang on Monday morning… I really think you should come down. Remember, I went to Canberra last year? It was an arbitration. Yeah, well this was for a follow-up.

I didn’t need to go. All the information was there. They didn’t need me. I decided last time that I wouldn’t go this time. I wasn’t going to fly down to Canberra just for the day to do something that I really don’t need to be there for. Besides, I could attend by phone! Why fly down??!!

Mr Barrister rang. I had my lie ready. I’m a really bad liar so I have to be prepared. There was an appointment for Wednesday… the lie was that it couldn’t be changed.

I was ready. He said the words… I know it’s inconvenient, but I think it would be a good idea if you were here.

I opened my mouth to say the words and a vision of snails drowning in beer was all I could see. Not pretty folks. Not pretty at all.

Yes! I’ll be there!

It was the snails I tell you! Long story short… I booked my flights… first flight in, last flight out. Then I rang D… Anything planned for Wednesday afternoon? Even though he knew from N that I would be calling him soon… just not this soon… or for this reason. He was stunned *giggle*

It was good. I flew to Canberra. I did the thing my father wanted me to do, but best of all, I got to spend some time with D.


The other good thing was to have confirmation of changes that have been taking place inside me. We spent around two hours together… and talked the whole time. Equally talked. The last few years most of my conversations have been very lopsided as I became more and more quiet.

Who is this woman??!! LOL!


Image: Simon Howden /


One thought on “It was the snails!

  1. Pingback: 44 gallons of camping… « Randomly Mari

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