NE mails June 2005 earlier

Just to be confusing, these should have been before this one. He used to make me think about things… differently. I suspect it would make more sense if I left his replies in here. Maybe I’ll post some of them later, but I wanted to revisit my state of mind…

How are you? I’ve had an interesting day. I’m starting to find out just how often I do things without thinking about what I’m doing most of the time it seems). Started with the smoking, running advantages and disadvantages through my mind before I lit up; sometimes, I put the cigarette back in the packet, sometimes I lit up, sometimes I had to remind myself to not shorten the list of advantages and disadvantages, but most of the time I had lit up and started to smoke the cigarette before I even thought about thinking about it! Time is all that is needed I think.

A sucker for a long relationship?  I guess I am a sucker for a long relationship, but I have to admit that there is something comforting about knowing a relationship will be there for a long time.

Okay, nothing at face value, decide to accept on my own. The ratio makes sense to me; I think for knowledge to be lasting and to lead to understanding the learning needs to be slow. eg I could cram for an exam and yes have that knowledge on the day of the exam, but two weeks later, two months later, two years later, the knowledge would not be there and the understanding probably never was.

Aww, no more blue 😉

The difference in temperament between an adult and a child? Young children seem less concerned with what others think, they live in the now, they don’t live in the past or dwell on the future and they accept who and what is around them NOW.

Where was my mind focused when truly happy? My first thoughts give me memories, often on a sense of achievement, some form of success. Then, when I think about it again, memories are of camping with friends, sitting around a fire talking, fishing with other friends even if we caught nothing, watching the sunrise, playing in the water with a dog, more memories than I’ll list rise up. All seem almost silent, all seem peaceful and I was just there in the moment. Ohhh!

Where is a child’s focused?

On what is there right now.

No, the amount of possessions doesn’t make a person 10 or 100 times happier.

Are those who have all they want, always happy?

If the acquisitions make them happy and they have all they want, then they should be happy, right until something happens to the acquisitions that made them happy.

Why do we feel happy? Why for a short time?

Maybe we feel happy because we are focused on something pleasant,  maybe the excitement creates good feelings inside, maybe we think the acquiring leads to happiness, but it does only last a short time. Why? I suspect because it doesn’t provide a solution to feeling down in the first place. The ‘first blush’ of excitement fades quickly. Chemical maybe? But then if being happy is accepting being in the now, anytime we look outside of ourselves for happiness it would not last.

How to solve unhappiness?

That I wonder about. I can think of ways to improve my mood that don’t leave me feeling worse later, but to solve unhappiness I wonder if we can become like children again and accept being in the now all the time. Of course, by taking a course of action that doesn’t make me feel worse later does it’s own part in not creating extra unhappiness ater, as well as helping to clear the mind.

I admit I found tonight difficult, the subject of happy is more indepth than I could’ve imagined, or is my mind just playing tricks with me tonight, or maybe I was getting more tired. So, I will make a move towards sleep now and see how it looks in the morning.

All the best
Mari

*********************************************************

Big Great Dane!

Shall look forward to your reply. I am visiting a friend in a little country town called Colac about 2 ours outside Melbourne. Arrived last night after a very good drive, long but good. She has the biggest Great Dane that I have ever seen! She told me he was big, but I didn’t realise how big, he is gorgeous. Spent two nights in Canberra visiting another friend who I haven’t seen in a couple of years, which was great.

Haven’t really let myself get into holiday mode yet, although I keep telling myself “I am on holiday now, yes, really on holiday”, which I have found strange as usually I only have to travel a few hours south from home to feel I’m on holiday and how I’m about 1800km from home and still not quite believing that I’m on holiday 😀 I will go for a long walk today to finish clearing my head.

Last weekend I put into practice working out when down. Well, I wouldn’t say I was down, but was very stressed. Worked wonders.

I thought a lot about happiness over the last week and especially on the drive south. I think that solving happiness is a state of mind. You allow yourself to be happy or you don’t. Either you allow yourself to accept where you are or you don’t. Maybe too simple, but it is down to the bare bones of where my thoughts led me.

Anyway, as I said above, I look forward to your reply. For now, I will go outside and try not to get stepped on by the biggest Great Dane that I have ever seen, lol, still can’t quite get over the fact that I can hug him without bending over.

All the best
Mari

Subject: RE: No longer sleep deprived
Date: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 12:46:53 +1000

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