Over the years I’ve lost touch with my spirituality. Mine was never a spirituality that belonged within the four walls of a church, with guidance read from pages. I am a child of The Universe, a being of light and love. My spirituality comes from all around us, from everything that connects us.
This I had forgotten within my Fog of Despair and the Chaos of fear driven choices in my life. Here I find myself again on the threshold of touching the world, of becoming an active and light filled member of The Universe again.
I pause right here as I’ve typed these words and consider their importance. They are important. I stopped listening years ago. I refused to be nudged any longer. I wanted peace from the Chaos of Fear, when the truth is the Chaos was my own stubborn refusal to step forward on my life path, to live my purpose. The words sound grandiose, but they are the simple truth.
Here I am in 2011 being nudged again. I’ve been feeling the nudge from the Universe for a while now and today… well, today I feel acceptance. It is a freeing feeling, to be ready to accept again.
I mentioned once in an earlier post that I had issues with organised religion. To be honest, I don’t. I have issues with extremism of any kind and with those with minds closed to anything or anyone that represents something different to themselves.
I remember studying with a number of people right through the 80s, 90s and into the 2000s. I studied with some lovely Jehovah’s Witnesses, both in Canberra and up here and I remember a pair of young Mormons, earnest in their beliefs. My son and I even spent some time with a Mormon family who lived around the corner from us. There was Noshir of the N mails/conversations who followed Vedantic philosophy. This I would have liked to take further. Unfortunately I never knew any Muslims, Jews or Budhists. Even so I used to read everything I could find that would cross my path.
I’ve had friends who were Wiccan, those who followed shamanistic principles. We had friends who believed in almost anything you could imagine.
Do you know what I found through my studies, reading and life experiences? Love. Yes, Simply Love. When you strip away the padding, at the heart of everything is… Love. This is where my spirituality was born. From opening my eyes and seeing that we all want to belong, we all want to love, we all want to connect. We are all children of The Universe even though we might follow this path in different ways.
This is important to touch this part of myself again. This part of me feels fresh and new, vulnerable in some ways.
On this path lays love, a different and open love to what I feel right now and I admit that this makes me nervous, brings that glimmer of fear that wants to grow, that wants to take control. The memory of past hurts. That’s alright. I’ll step onto my path again, but this time I’ll give myself time to heal from the years of damage my negativity and fear has caused me. Yes, damage that I caused to myself.
In this thought is freedom. This also is important.