I spoke about coping with changes the other day and how I felt I was having difficulty dealing with them. All I can do is accept and move on. This I’ve been doing. I spoke about my spiritual path yesterday, well, a little anyway. In a lot of ways the changes in my life nudged me back to this path. We fight change or we accept. I accepted… and asked What next?
Questioning what’s next is what has taken me to the threshold of my spirituality again. Letting go of the fear and accepting that things will happen as they’re meant to. We meet people who remind us who we are and what we’re meant to be doing. Things happen to remind us we have somewhere else to be, something else to do.
So back to nudging, it can feel like a web of events is created in our lives that all begin to point in the same direction. Where am I pointed? That I’m not so ready to talk about, but I do know it’s not here in the drudge I sit right now. That’s kind of oversimplified, I know, and I don’t mean to be mysterious about it. I’m just not ready to talk about it openly more than that yet.
Things happen for a reason. My therapist saying she didn’t think she needed to see me again until after I moved left me feeling abandoned… again. I had felt she had my back, that I had someone to depend on. You see that was the problem. I should be working towards depending on myself instead of going into holding patterns between therapy sessions. Let’s just say the universe put my back against the wall, at a point in time where I could make a choice… believe and depend on myself, or fall. I came to these crossroads and I chose to accept, to believe in myself.
So, crossroads approached, decision made in my favour and my therapist rang today… she’s written to my doctor to see how we can book in more sessions. My budget doesn’t allow me to see her on my own, so I need the whole rigmarole of getting referrals approved by the government. Seems I’ve made the correct decision and my new sessions will take a new direction. I can feel that already. Intuitively.
Today I feel full of love. So either I made the right decision or I have totally flipped and you’re reading the writings of a madwoman 😛