Interupting my scheduled posts. Yeah, yeah, rah, rah, so shoot me! Anyway, things have gone kind of crazy around here. Well, they’re as crazy as I see them would be more truthful. The weekend finally ended and I mistakenly thought… Whew, some peace at last! Then I was hit with a major bombshell yesterday and almost went into a tailspin. I won’t write about specifics, which isn’t me being silent, or locking the words away. I’ve been talking about what’s going on. It’s just that I don’t feel I can write about what is happening until I can process it all.
Yesterday as I opened my mouth to shout… No more!! Why does more crap have to pile on the crap I’m already dealing with??!! I stopped and listened and understood that my view on what peace means is so up the creek without a paddle wrong, that I was stunned silent.
At a soul level I always knew, it’s just taken me a while to really understand and to feel the knowledge become a part of me… the knowledge that I had it wrong that is *rolls eyes*
That’s all well and good, but how does that help me find peace?
I went to the library today and during my hunt for something new to read, in which I open up books to random pages and read to see how it resonates, I found this…
Many of us seek peace, and by “peace” we ordinarily mean either to be at peace with ourselves or to reach some state of equilibrium in which we are not overly affected by life’s trials and tribulations. Some people try to achieve peace by cultivating an inner state of non-attachment where the vicissitudes of life do not affect one’s equanimity. When we want peace what we are actually asking for is a removal from what’s bothering us. We think peace is a life without problems, but that’s unreal. Problems are challenges, and challenge is the motor of evolution. Life without them would be a dull thing, as it is through meeting problems that most growth occurs. And that of course is a moment-to-moment thing because what I am is a living being, a changing, flowing being. The problem is not that there are problems; it is that I do not respond to them completely. What real peace is – which has nothing to do with any ideas one has about peace, which is not a turning away from life – is action without conflict. To move in the world without the residues that conflict brings is to move freely, to be at peace. But how do I do it? How do I manage this in a world of incredible tension, extraordinary violence, and seemingly endless sorrows? In this world of demands and fantastic desires, how does peace come?
For this to occur I must not only be more aware of the world I inhabit, I must see myself with more clarity. How can I see the world through a dirty lens? I cannot actually see another human being in relationship unless I know the vehicle that is seeing – in short, unless I am more aware of myself and how I work. Although such seeings do not occur in time, they are cumulative over time and can result in a self-understanding that is freer from self-judgement, bringing more peace with myself and my nature. When the problems of living are met totally and creatively so that one is free to move on to the next challenge, there is peace. I am not presenting a constantly available state of freedom. Clearly in a world so full of conflict it is not possible to be free of it all the time. Freedom is not a possession one can own but a momentum that one can participate in.
The Passionate Mind Revisited: Expanding Personal and Social Awareness by Joel Kramer and Diana Alstad
Peace is inside us. Things happen. Good and Bad things happen. This seems to be a recurring message all over the place lately. Things happen and we can’t control them, we can’t change them. All we can do is change how we see ourselves and how we process what happens. Even though I’m not there yet, the seed of peace has been planted.