Perception of perfection

Thoughts have turned to interviews, as I have an interview on Tuesday. No, no, not for the 224 character application I put in. Won’t hear anything about that for at least a month *shakes head*

I can actually count on two hands the number of interviews I’ve been to since I left school at 15. Seriously, 26 years and 7 interviews, that is if I’m remembering them all. Today I remembered my very first interview, one I blocked out all these years… as a check-out chick in a supermarket. About to open for business, they were taking on junior casuals. Actually, if you were a junior, decently presented and good at maths, you were in.

I didn’t get in.

I was well presented, well spoken and an A grade maths student… and I didn’t get in. It’s funny to understand my perceptions back then. Back then I was devastated because of that whole supposed perfectionist thing I had going on. You see, I didn’t actually hear what the manager was telling me when he said I should be applying for office junior positions. All I heard was I wasn’t good enough, while now I understand he was trying to tell me I was better than the position I was applying for.

That is something I’ve done most of my life… identify myself from outside with the opinions of others. Ms Mari Fit-In-At-All-Costs. It’s one of the reasons my perfectionism was unattainable. How do you meet the standards everyone else has of you? Simple. You can’t. At least not if you want to remain sane. The only standards you can meet are your own.

The big questions with standards are… Are they your own? How high is high enough? We’re human, we don’t actually need to be perfect. Thinking we do is just our own perception.

Repeat after me… I am enough.

Now, off to the hairdresser I go. No reason I can’t give myself a little extra boost in the confidence department đŸ˜€